He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.