The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
I don't aim to offend.