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My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
— Chelsea Handler My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
Tags: sex, selflessness, selfless, self-sacrifice, oral-sex, humor, giving-and-receiving, giving, blow-job

Other Quotes by "Chelsea Handler"

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.
— Chelsea Handler
Tags: new, yourself, you, relationship
Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.
— Chelsea Handler
Tags: some-people, think, people, home
I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.
— Chelsea Handler
Tags: i-think, her, think, love
I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.
— Chelsea Handler
Tags: russian, superstitious
I remember having a conversation with my sister, saying, 'What if I don't make it? What if I'm still waiting tables when I'm 35?' I was just at the end of my rope. But I've been at the end of that rope several times.
— Chelsea Handler
Tags: conversation, saying, remember, waiting
View More by "Chelsea Handler"
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