We should learn to take genuine pride in a job well done and not expect praise for one simply carried out.

My cat is older than many fashion models. I won't even discuss the fact that she also weighs more.

My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.

My mother thinks Mick Jagger is a foreign car.

Love is inconvenient. Love is untidy. Love is relentless, ruthless and rapacious. Done well, it's hilarious, playful and redemptive.