Hope was a cold hearted mistress who promised a dozen wonderful things, and didn't deliver a single one of them.
Frankly, I find it to be a waste of my time. I could learn much more from reading, and school impedes my ability to read. And the tests! The ability to regurgitate facts does not make one intelligent any more than the ability to regurgitate one's meal makes him a fountain!
I don’t have an inspiring story of spiraling into a drug or alcohol addiction just for God to swoop in and save me. Instead, I self-medicated my depression by shopping. I’d spend to forget the pain, get the bill, freak out, then would subsequently go shop some more. At one point, my bill got too high, and I snapped. As I fought to get out from under the debt, I prayed for God to deliver me from the crushing anxiety I felt, which was brought on by the debt and which had added to the debt. One morning God said to me, “Get help. Get well. Be healed.
I lay in bed, either trying to fall asleep or having just woken up, and I contemplate the direction my life is going. Sadly, I haven’t the faintest idea what direction that is. Because, to me, I’m standing still; no steam in my engine propelling me down the rails of Life Railroad. Now, I’m not bothered by it every waking minute of every day; however, it is something that hits me from time to time. It’s an attack by the enemy, made to draw my attention away from God. Let me tell you, it’s a darn fine attack, too. Not that it works, but boy does it take a lot to keep my mind focused on the Lord.