I had never experienced the intense healing effect of another loving you, of their kind words. The illumination of my inner beauty had been initiated. Non-judgmental awareness is the most powerful tool for change. Could I look at my life without criticism? Without comparison? Could I simply look as a witness to my own life? Could I see my life through Tony’s loving eyes and observe without criticism? This was to be a massive part of my journey home.
Suppression also played another tragic role. By burying my pain, by avoiding my heartaches, I lost touch with knowing and owning what was important to me. I no longer went within, which was a scary road. If you were once attacked on a road, you make sure to avoid it. But the avoidance means you also miss out on the wild flowers when they’re blooming, the snow-capped mountains in winter, the waterfall, the deer, the beautiful people, like Tony, who walk there every day. You also miss out on knowing yourself better, on understanding what is important to you.