I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.
I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
I lift weights. Then I put them down again.
I'm a fang-toothed, blob-nosed, slouchy slob.
People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous - they do bad things because they're rewarded for it.
Believe it or not, I work out regularly.