With you, intimacy colours my voice. even ‘hello’ sounds like ‘come here'.
Your daughter is ugly. She knows loss intimately, carries whole cities in her belly. As a child, relatives wouldn’t hold her. She was splintered wood and sea water. They said she reminded them of the war. On her fifteenth birthday you taught her how to tie her hair like rope and smoke it over burning frankincense. You made her gargle rosewater and while she coughed, said macaanto girls like you shouldn’t smell of lonely or empty. You are her mother. Why did you not warn her, hold her like a rotting boat and tell her that men will not love her if she is covered in continents, if her teeth are small colonies, if her stomach is an island if her thighs are borders? What man wants to lay down and watch the world burn in his bedroom? Your daughter’s face is a small riot, her hands are a civil war, a refugee camp behind each ear, a body littered with ugly things but God, doesn’t she wear the world well.
We took such care of tomorrow, but died on the way there.
I hope I’ll always believe in love. Even if love shames me and tries to destroy me, I hope I’ll want to start again.
[…] but she cannot make him eat, like you.
Later that night she picked the polish off with her front teeth until the bed you shared for seven years seemed speckled with glitter and blood.