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Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.
— Will Self
Tags: writing, writers, wine, walks, masturbation, embarrassmentsion, embarrassment, corporation, christmas-parties

Other Quotes by "Will Self"

Many of my works fall into the category of 'Zeitgeist novels'. Yet I hope that they aren't only reportage, but also attempts to convey the sense of the present to the future.
— Will Self
Tags: only, fall, future, hope
Once the working classes were in chains, now they're in chain restaurants.
— Will Self
Tags: once, chain, now, chains
I can't throw anything away. Anything. I'm going to end up like one of those old weirdos who lives in a network of tunnels burrowed through trash - yet I do not fear this.
— Will Self
Tags: who, like, end, fear
The high arts of literature and music stand in a curious relationship to one another, at once securely comfortable and deeply uneasy - rather like a long-term marriage.
— Will Self
Tags: stand, relationship, marriage, music
Whatever respect photography may once have deserved is now superfluous in view of its own superfluity.
— Will Self
Tags: photography, own, view, respect
View More by "Will Self"
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