I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.
I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.
It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.
I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.
I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.
I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.
I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.
You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.
A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.
I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.
I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.
