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Quotes by "Bryan Callen"

I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes.
— Bryan Callen
Tags: dark, always, deep, never
Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.
— Bryan Callen
Tags: message, compare, pigeon, someone, love
I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!
— Bryan Callen
Tags: broken, i-am, heart, women
My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over.
— Bryan Callen
Tags: dad, green, dress, me
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