Pain led me to love. Love led me to God. God showed me myself, For I have always been love.
Perhaps not knowing is a good thing. When all is uncertain, everything becomes possible.
Somewhere between pride and heart lies the ego. The heart says I love you for what I can do for you. The ego says I love you for what you can do for me.
We are careful with what we love and reckless with what we don’t.
There is this guilt that often accompanies being the first one to leave home. You will feel as though you shouldn’t have, so you will find a way to suffer, to not succeed. Your mind will trick you into believing it is a mistake to survive without the rest.
It is not that you want me. It is that you like the way I want you and you don’t want that feeling to go to someone else.
Next time; before you decide it is love, First ask yourself: Am I safe here? Is there room for growth? When I say no; does he listen?
Painful habits: 1. Forgetting friends to lose myself in lovers. Remembering them only when love is lost again. 2. Knowing that real love does not need convincing but trying anyway. 3. Building castles of projections, making pedestals out of dreams. 4. Crowning temporary visitors Kings.
The war began after I had placed him on a pedestal. My expectations were only leading me to more disappointments. First I tried to fight it with denial then I tried to fight him with my words. I did everything but accept that he was not the man I thought he was.
Suffering awakens. Time reveals. Love heals.
