'Obsession' has a bad rap.
We live in a culture that does not encourage women to be epic heroes of their own Big Stories but the mothers and lovers and wives and mistresses and muses and personal assistants, the femme fatales and fantasies and manic pixie dream girls, in someone else's Big Story, and this someone else is usually a dude.
Artemis women often have difficult childhoods. She's the kid who seeks comfort in the woods, or animals, or books. If trapped in an authoritarian family, she blends in to get by - but keeps a fierce autonomy inside her head and heart, looking to the day she breaks free.
Don't pursue something because you 'want to be great.' Pursue something because it fascinates you, because the pursuit itself engages and compels you.
I don't think it's that difficult to distinguish between people with narcissistic disorders and people with high self-esteem.
In the late spring of 2008, my wealthy entrepreneurial husband, Elon Musk, the father of my five young sons, filed for divorce. Six weeks later, he texted me to say he was engaged to a gorgeous British actress in her early 20s who had moved to Los Angeles to be with him.
People who become 'elite' at what they do aren't striving to be 'elite' just to join some special club. They take great joy and satisfaction in the pursuit of mastery, and they compete against themselves, not others.
Attention isn't really earned. It's invoked; it's manipulated. It can be heady and make you feel powerful, but it isn't something you accomplish; you get it - or you don't.
I had turned into a trophy wife - and I sucked at it. I wasn't detail-oriented enough to maintain a perfect house or be a perfect hostess. I could no longer hide my boredom when the men talked and the women smiled and listened. I wasn't interested in Botox or makeup or reducing the appearance of the scars from my C-sections.
Recognition happens when you see yourself from the inside-out: as someone who can make an impact on the world instead of navigating the impact the world has on you.
I have struggled with self-esteem issues since my teens, but it's clear in my first long-ago diary that I didn't start out that way. I acquired my low self-esteem. I learned it.
We are born into a particular place and time with a particular set of gifts and limitations. The challenge isn't to pluck the best career out of the air, but to learn yourself from the inside out: to know your gifts and accept your limitations and shape your life accordingly.
One of the many qualities that separate self-made billionaires from the rest of us is their ability to ask the right questions.
Every time a confident, successful woman like Marissa Meyer distances herself from feminism, I think of Athena. Athena women, with all their brilliance and strategy, are the ones smashing up through layers of glass. They tend to identify with men, keeping femininity at a distance.
Hope is much more than wishful thinking. Hope is a way of moving through the world.
What is it that you're not doing - in your work, in your life - because you feel you need permission? If someone had given you that permission as a youngster, what do you think you'd be doing now?
