Shut upâŠlet me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and youâre just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and youâre real. I donât have enough time in any day to think about you enough...I donât even think about women anymore. I think about you.
Pamela, Iâm in love with you. Yeah, itâs that bad. Youâre so beautiful to me. Shut up! Lemme tell you. Let me. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me - and the way you are with me - and youâre just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and youâre real. I donât have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like Iâm going to live a thousand years cause thatâs how long itâs gonna take me to have one thought about you which is that Iâm crazy about you, Pamela. I donât wanna be with anybody else. I donât. I really donât. I donât think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. Thatâs the whole dream. You were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldnât believe it wasnât real. Iâm sick in love with you, Pamela. Itâs like a condition. Itâs like polio. I feel like Iâm gonna die if I canât be with you. And I canât be with you. So Iâm gonna die - and I donât care cause I was brought into existence to know you and thatâs enough. The idea that you would want me back itâs like greedy.
Youâll be fine. Youâre 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Donât avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. Youâll be okay. Even if you donât feel okay all the time.
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go âUh, Iâm kind of an asshole.
Iâm boredâ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that youâve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that youâre alive is amazing, so you donât get to say âIâm bored.
