The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.
If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.
I don't think you should write a book until you tell the absolute truth. You can't do that until you're 85, and I don't want to live that long. I've always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way.
Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
I've seen 'Mork & Mindy' a couple times. Robin Williams amazes me. And I love Gary Coleman. He puts me away. He puts everybody away.
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.
I'm not sure that I want to be without some lack of confidence. If you are too sure of yourself, you don't grow. You may feel confident in some things, but other fields come up as a challenge. And if you don't anticipate trouble, you will be in trouble.
I regret the passing of the studio system. I was very appreciative of it because I had no talent.
I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I've got to keep it this way.
You spell Bob Hope C-L-A-S-S.
I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways.
A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.
I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one.
Women's Lib? Oh, I'm afraid it doesn't interest me one bit. I've been so liberated it hurts.
