Stop being a critic and be a light; don't be a judge, be a model. I think we are far too critical. I think the best way to correct behavior is to accentuate and affirm positive behavior and to ignore negative behavior. Generally speaking, there is a time to correct, of course; but my biggest advice would be, 'Affirm your child.'
Seeing things from a different point of view can help us understand why other people act the way they do. We too often judge people without having all the facts.
That's important, apologizing, listening, you know, I think the teens I speak with, most of them don't feel understood. They feel like they're being lectured to all the time.
You should see my baby pictures. My cheeks hung off my face like water balloons. You can imagine how often I was teased.
Having the courage to say no when all your friends are saying yes is one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do. Doing it, however, is one of the biggest charges you can ever make to your personal battery. I call this 'won't power.'
You are free to choose what you want to make of your life. It's called free agency or free will, and it's your birthright.
Although I'm a retired teenager, I remember what it was like to be one. I could have sworn I was riding an emotional roller coaster most of the time. Looking back, I'm actually amazed that I survived. Barely.
Some of the more popular life-centers for teens include Friends, Stuff, Enemies, Self, and Work. They each have their good points, but they are all incomplete in one way or another, and they'll mess you up if you center your life on any one of them to the exclusion of the others.
I think the greatest challenge between child and parent is communication.
One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is to help them find their talents.
Ask any successful person, and most will tell you that they had a person who believed in them... a teacher, a friend, a parent, a guardian, a sister, a grandmother. It only takes one person, and it doesn't really matter who it is.
The average teen today spends about 35 hours a week in front of a screen of some kind: iPod, movie, TV, video. And a lot of it is good, but a lot of it's not. And so I think you've got that five hours a day of media coming into your kid's head that's creating a lot of havoc out there.
Paradigms are like glasses. When you have incomplete paradigms about yourself or life in general, it's like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription. That lens affects how you see everything else.
You shouldn't feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Every so often, everyone needs to give themselves a big ol' bear hug and treat themselves to some TLC.
