My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.
I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
