It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.