I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.