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As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: wife, parenting, you, personality

Other Quotes by "Jim Gaffigan"

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: eat, animals, only, try
No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: too-much, rejection, frustration, money
I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: bob, closer, than
There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: challenge, fun, think, funny
Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.
— Jim Gaffigan
Tags: both-sides, sides, country, sympathy
View More by "Jim Gaffigan"
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