I think that a lot of the time, people are generous towards those whom they pity; but only find fault in those whom they see as better than themselves. There is a fake kind of goodness; and that is the goodness that is only good towards other people that make the givers feel better about themselves. Would you be good to someone you think is so much better than you are? Or who has so much more than you have? Or is your goodness only reserved for those who make you feel like a god because you give to them? Too often, there are shining, beautiful people, who suffer so much in this world, because there would be so many others willing to snuff out their flames! Goodness of a person is not measured by sympathy or compassion; rather, goodness is measured by empathy. Empathy goes beyond all the physical things you see with your two eyes. Itβs easy to be good to those you pity; much harder to be good to those whom you envy!
To one degree or another, generally, people feel comfortable within their own echo chambers. Surrounding themselves with many others who share the same religion, eat the same food, share the same spirituality, etc. The problem with that, is, you never become who you were meant to be, you never come face to face with yourself and with your angels and your demons, you never become MORE. Because you're just echoing back into yourself what's already a part of you.
When you give good things to people often, they are going to think you're seeking their approval. This is because they come at you from their own mind which is limited, they have minds that are compromised and small. They are unable to decipher that you give good things simply because you are overflowing. Never for once let them think that you need to please them. And never fall into their mindset. You are a wellspring formed by the hands of God, not a device they keep to their convenience.
It is said that we must take the time to stop and smell the roses. What they don't tell you, is that YOU are the rose that you need to stop for the most. You are the rose that you must stop and love the most, you are that flower.
Your relationship should not be a battle field. It should not be an uphill struggle. Your relationship should not be what's keeping you cold inside. Your relationship should be a warm space, a safe space, a home. The skin of your soul. I have seen too many people lose their warmth, their mental health, the skip in the sound of their laughter; thanks to the relationships that they are in. When this happens to you, it's time to know that you've got this one life, and how are you going to spend it? There is a love that's for you, and that one is just not it anymore.
The worst thing women can do for men, is spoil them. I see this all around. A woman thinking that the way to keep a man is by showering him like a baby, giving more than any other woman around could give. It disables men, it creates babies out of men, it removes their ability to be doers and givers. It turns them into sitting ducks. It is the worst thing women can do for men: spoil them. Yes, it ruins them for any other woman; but, not for the good reasons. I never want a woman to come into my son's life and spoil him. I will not let that happen to him. I always tell him: you be with a woman who is your equal, someone you can run with, someone who enables you to be a doer, a giver. Another wolf: someone you can run with.
People don't believe you love them, because they don't believe they can be loved. The problem is, they won't tell you that. They might not even know that. Don't you ever, ever, think that there's something wrong with you. They accept the love they think they deserve.
Love a person who is quite unloved, rather than a person who is very much loved. People who feel unloved treat it as a luxury, a hidden treasure, a gem. People who felt loved all their lives treat it as a birthright, an entitlement, a necessary materiality. Give water to the thirsty, they know what water should taste like.