I get confused with all the rules in golf. Let's say you're playing in L.A. and your ball lands on a dead body. Is your relief one or two club lengths?

As a woman I resent the fact that in golf if I have the highest score, I'm the loser.

If there's a God, why are there such things as famine and The Jerry Springer Show.

He is so aware of being politically correct he refers to a taco as Hispanic food.

He says he's not broke, but he is trying to sell his kidney and corneas.