I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'
The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
