Quotes by "Jasper Fforde"

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.

If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.

Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.

Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medals and the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth ten of people like me.

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.

>Aber als ich mich beruhigt hatte, ist mir klar geworden, dass diese Welt, so verdorben und unvollkommen sie ist, schöner wäre, wenn du in ihr bliebest.<

Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.