Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
I was an awkward kid.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'
You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.
I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
