I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.