I got left for Mr. Bean. I found out a year after we split up. I opened the newspaper and there was a full-page story. No one else in the history of time has ever been left for Mr. Bean.
Certain celebs manage to worm their way out of the spotlight, and I won't stand for that.
If a comic laughs at their own jokes, I don't like it. They shouldn't find it funny; they should seriously believe in this stupid thing they're saying.
I like touring, and I like stopping off at service stations and driving along motorways.
Ross Noble at the Leicester De Montfort Hall on his Randomist tour - it's the only time I've hurt from laughing at a standup comedian.
I really love standup, and I really love writing standup.
