Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
I have two trifling ambitions in the theater: to make a lot of people laugh and to make a lot of money.
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
