Quotes Tagged "health"

Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.

Top 15 Things Money Can’t Buy Time. Happiness. Inner Peace. Integrity. Love. Character. Manners. Health. Respect. Morals. Trust. Patience. Class. Common sense. Dignity.

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me six months more.

Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not.

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle. Unless you die of something.

You can't lose weight without exercise. But I've got a philosophy about exercise. I don't think you should punish your legs for something your mouth did. Drag your lips around the block once or twice.

To improve your memory, lend people money.

Health food makes me sick.

She is such a health food nut, she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Lord, if you can't make me thin - can you make all my friends fat?

If I am ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged but not until I get down to size eight.

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet, and I resent it. It's simple, he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

I've been on every diet in the world. The best one is the BBC diet: Buy Bigger Clothes.