If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
Tags: drum, get-married, guy, get, want

Other Quotes by "Sam Kinison"

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Tags: been, target, comedy, man
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Tags: dies, comedy, you, art
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Tags: say, heaven, bible, water
Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.
Tags: folks, been, straight, days
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Tags: people, you, me, morning
View More by "Sam Kinison"